My PARIS rE Do

There are times in life that you want nothing more than 

to have the opportunity to 

RE DO

a time, an event, an action, words......

On April 6th I received an email from my man!

It said....

Based on the above, we have decided to organize a Regional Distribution Centers Workshop with key participants from different disciplines.

The workshop will take place in the Rue Saint Dominique office in Paris from the 23^rd to the 25^th of April.              

You have been selected to participate on this workshop based on your experience on and understanding of the topic.

Above this wonderful note to him was his words.....

FYI.  Looks like I’m headed to Paris in a few weeks.  

My heart was overjoyed..

Overjoyed for him being chosen!

Thankful for his dedication and commitment!  

And then it occurred to me....

OMGoodness...

My hearts desire...

 Transformation...

Clarity.....

And so I replied....

Can I come with you?????  I promise I won't be such a disaster this time.  AND we can walk all of the stairs up to the top of the tower and then look deeply in each others eyes! :):)

M

And my man said "YES"!

Yes to me going with with him not necessarily yes to taking the stairs to the top of the Eiffel Tower or staring deeply in my eyes!

Gratitude overcame me...

I thought...

Who Am I , O Lord and what is my house that you have brought me this far?

And as I reflected on my "this far" I stood in awe of abundance....

Four years ago I travelled to Paris with my man.

When I embarked on that opportunity...

In my heart it was going to be a trip full of bliss, 

Full of RoMaNcE...

A trip in which what was in my heart could be poured out...

Love, Joy, Honor...

Unfortunately 

I was a disaster!

I was in the middle of a brokenness, being held in bondage!

Affliction was engulfing me and mentally tormenting me, silencing my heart!

And my Paris Trip was a DiSaStEr!

And I mourned and grieved the disappointment...

I knew I was responsible for this disaster,

But I knew that I could not let my affliction turn into my destruction and I had to GET UP AND FIGHT!

I had to allow my affliction to turn me into a warrior!

I had to fight to set my heart free! 

To loose the chains that held me.....CAPTIVE!

I had to deal with ME, my selfish ambitions,my fears, my boundaries, my choices.....

Me Myself and I needed to do some work.

And for the last 4 years I embarked on a long steadfast journey....

I have dug deep in my soul to find all of the yucky hiding places.

Places I didn't want to find.

Places I had chosen not go because it was to painful.

Places full of anger.

Places full of fear.

Places full of confusion.

Places that had to be visited in order to find 

the 

Place of Peace.

the 
Place of Abundance.

the

Place of JOY!

the

Place of LOVE!

And right down to March 25th, 2012 I was in the trenches.

Some days my trenches were deep and it seemed like I was not ever going to surface again.


Some days I could only see a glimmer of light!


and Some days the light was so bright it was blinding....
but always

 HOPE!

Always a Desire to be FREE!

Free to LOVE fully and authentically!


Free to be who I was created to be.

 Although I battle each day and some days my battlefield is busy, I am a Warrior and I will fight.

I will fight for my marriage.
I will fight for my family.
I will fight for LOVE and FREEDOM!


My affliction WILL NOT defeat me!

And after Four Years.....

and Hard Work Daily I have received 

Redemption, Mercy and Grace!

I was honored a ReDo!

My heart is Free toLOVE fully!

 

This week in Paris I will....

~Fuel my heart with wild Love and Gratitude~

I will laugh without fear!

I will choose Freedom!

Embrace the essence of Joy!

I will see Paris through a completely different set of eyes!

Eyes full of Beauty and Abundance!

I will LOVE and Honor my man!
AND
Rub his feet after we walk to the top of the Eiffel Tower!
and 
NOT MISS ONE OPPORTUNITY TO LOOK DEEPLY INTO HIS BEAUTIFUL EYES!

That BlUe TaMbOuRiNe

That  BlUe TaMbOuRiNe shimmied and shaked.

It produced a beautiful sound

A beautiful rhythm

The hands that shook that tambourine were large hands, 

soft hands,

 gentle hands,

 helping hands

Hands that made people beautiful on the outside 

while impacting people on the inside.

It was a heart overflowing that generated the joy to shake that tambourine.

A heart that was full of a peace that surpassed all understanding.....

While those around didn't understand the affliction and the struggle...

But for me, I will sing each morning about your power and mercy.  

For you have been my high tower of refuge,

 a place of safety in the day of my distress.

O my Strength to you I sing my praises for you are my high tower of safety,

 my God of mercy.

Proverbs 59:16-17

A heart of strength.  

Strength that was seen as it poured out through the blue tambourine.

A heart of LOVE.

Love that could be heard in the sound that poured from that blue tambourine.

LOVE that could be seen as you watched,
captivated and in awe

of what was flowing out of her as she shook that blue tambourine.

That heart poured out the joy that comes in the morning

through the shaking of that tambourine.

That tambourine became hers...

She shook it in utter celebration!

She was known by that tambourine!

Known by the passion that radiated through that tambourine.

It sat in it's place.

It held her place.

Waiting for her to come and pick it up!

No one else picked up that tambourine!

No one else shook it!

It represented all that she was!

It was a treasure!

A treasure that was shared!

A treasure that impacted lives!

A treasure that left a legacy!

It was a BlUe TaMbOuRiNe!

1 + 30 +110 + 1,000's = Amazing

As I sit here 2 days after this 13.1 Journey came to fruition I struggle to sit and stand.  

Man my quads hurt.
That however will all go away.
But the fruit of the journey is forever!

This journey is a journey of many first for me...

The first time I heard of AS OUR OWN

The first time I ran more than 10K let alone 13.1 miles (21K)

The first time I ran so many miles without a running partner

The first time I ran with headphones

The first time I ran an hour plus on a treadmill

The first time I was Running with my man!

The first time I went to Dallas Texas

The first time I was not running in snow in Jan., Feb., March

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....

The first time I ran a race that was to raise money for a cause.....

It always amazed me when I would receive the news that I had been sponsored.

I have to tell you that every sponsorship I received was received with such gratitude!

It is often difficult to ask people to give money especially when times are not lucrative but.....

I had a dear friend once tell me.....

Send the invitation and let the people decide for themselves what they will do....

I hold that dear to my heart in all of the endeavors I embark on whether it is 

inviting friends on a trip...

to dinner.....

to church.....

to play....

to a Bible study...

or to join me in a crazy adventure that requires giving of time or money.....

AND

I diligently prayed that God would speak to the hearts of those He wanted to!

AND I sent out the email(s).....

And for this sweet, sweet precious girl and many others in India your hearts were moved....

Moved toward LOVE

Moved toward COMPASSION

Moved toward  CHANGE!

On my last long run on the treadmill....
When I needed some inspiration to keep running this song began to play....
The Change
One hand
Reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done
By saving just this one
It's like whispering a prayer
In the fury of a storm

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

This heart
Still believes
The love and mercy still exist
While all the hatred rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
It's like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone

I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world we know
Never changes me

What I do is so
This world will know
That it will not change me
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/g/garth-brooks-lyrics/the-change-lyrics.html)


It was a sweet essence that came over me as I felt the magnitude of what each person who
chose to sponsor me was standing for....
CHANGE
Maybe not changing the World right now today but changing the course of a life today right now.
Reaching out your hand so Parul will have a different life.  Her path has been Changed.
You took a stand!
A stand that even though the world chooses to think that one person's contribution is not enough 
you did not let that thinking change your hearts desire to give.


The piece of this song that moved me most was.....


This heart
Still believes
The love and mercy still exist
While all the hatred rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
It's like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss 


I ran because I do believe that Love and Mercy still do exist and I have been called to Love
because it is the greatest of these and it is not pointless...


As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone 


My heart holds on...
Your heart holds on...

As I ran 13.1 miles I completed this leg of my journey. 
 A leg of the journey where I learned about giving of myself for mercy and Love...
A journey of not only Hope for Parul but Hope for more....


Each of you were with me as I passed each mile (km my Canadians)....

Throwing up praises for your support....
Almost hyperventilating at mile 7 because I was overwhelmed and flooded with the amazingness of this.


Although 13.1 is complete and my legs are recovering, 
My soul has been moved and stirred.
This is not the end but the beginning of another adventure on my life journey.....

9 very sluggish runners packed into a taxi after the race!

And I want to say
THANK YOU...
Anita Wolverton
Tanya Hedin
Jemma Anderbeck
Chad and Trish Mombourquette
Cindy Harris
Tammi Henderson
and 
Vern and Amy Baxter....
For believing in me, believing in As Our Own and believing that by reaching out one hand you can 
make a difference!



THANK YOU.....
 to those who thought of me often and those of you who prayed as I embarked on this journey.



NO PRAYERS OR THOUGHTS WERE WASTED!


Every step, every mile, every Word spoken to me during this time was 
fruitful, changing and moving!
Thank you for blessing me....Blessing Parul...Blessing Team Bayou City Fellowship!

I stand in awe!


In a race, everyone runs but only one person gets first prize.  So run your race to win.  To win the contest you must deny yourselves many things that would keep you from doing your best.  An athlete goes to all this trouble just to win a blue ribbon or a silver cup, but we do it for a heavenly reward that never disappears.  
1 Corinthians 9:24-25

The Adventure in Mile 8!

Running for Parul has brought Fullness to my journey...

Mile 8 brought joy heart and rev to my giddy up n gooooooo!

 For those of you who walk closely with me you know that everyday is a day FULL beyond measure.  

Full of sometimes nothing but good, sometimes full of nothing but not so good and sometimes full of good and not so good but none the less full.  

With this fullness comes bus E ness.  

For the last month it has been challenging to run on a regular basis because my house has been FULL.....

Full of contractors....

Full of repair men....

I again found a love for running at 5:30 am as it seems to be the only time I am available.  Yet still it has been challenging to get in my runs....

I am however committed...

Committed to Parul....

Committed to the supportive friends that have given to As Our Own on my behalf...

And so I run on....

What I love about this journey is how the long runs are used to fill me up!  

The time it takes to run is the time I use to meet with my Maker.  

Time that is rich in learning.  

My time to be still and know!

Mile 8 was beautiful because I was blessed with an unexpected running partner.  

For years I have been all but begging my man to run with me and he has always declined the invitation reassuring me his knees are bad and could never handle it.   

He often runs on the treadmill but never pounds the pavement.  

On this day much to my surprise he offered to run the loop with me.  

The loop is 4 miles and I couldn't have been more overjoyed to have a friend to run the 1st half of my 8 with.  

I was so excited! 

 I think he almost was too but I am sure he had no idea what he was in for.  

You see I love to talk....

My man...

not so much.

This was strictly business for him....

His business plan was to run 4 miles without stopping and be sure he did not let me "beat" him. 

 He has an extreme competitive edge to him and I am confident that is what prompted the run....

The challenge to run the loop!

My watch was ready to go!

He grabbed my phone pushed a few buttons and we were off!

So we set off and I was so excited.

My first conversation starter went something like this....

Awww baby isn't this sooooo romantic?

His reply  "There is nothing romantic about this"

Me... "Awww here we are on this beautiful day running together having a great time"

Him.... "Yeah, No!"

And then I thought...HMMMM maybe this isn't romantic!  

This was romantic to me. 

 My desire was given to me...running with my man!   

I revealed in the bliss.

And then it occurred to me to get out my phone and take a picture or two...

I was having the time of my life...

My man....I don't think he found the F-U-N in this!  (I should have made a video:)

And so we ran on!

I chatted and chatted and chatted...

He probably thought  "How can she breathe?"

I was so happy it was like old times with Amy (my running partner in Alberta) and I.  

I talk and talk and talk and Amy listens and we run and run and run!

I tried not to run to fast or to slow.  I didn't want to ruin my opportunity for romantic run #2!

At about mile 3 I could tell his knee was not feeling so good!

This is where being competitive is a double edge sword. 

 Run on because I can't quit or quit because my knee hurts..........

And so we ran on!

My man and I finished our 4 miles together.  Me in utter bliss like a teenager on her first date with the boy of her dreams and my man in his manly competitive way completing the business plan all in a days work.

I checked my watch.  He stopped the clock on my phone we talked about the time of completion and I said goodbye and continued on for the next 4miles still on cloud nine because my man ran with me!

I may never have that opportunity again but I am ever so thankful that he said YES this time!

Had I not committed to running for Parul I would have never have had this opportunity.

My journey to 13.1 miles has been rich in wonder and amazement!

Words are breathed into me, opportunities arise, people unexpectedly give to this endeavor.

One mile at a time I with your support am changing history!

Changing opportunity for Parul and the girls that are rescued by As Our Own, taken in and loved.  As Our Own cares for them and they know that they are WORTH IT!

B.....Y....O.....BooooooYahhhh! 6.5

Another long run down and only 7 more to go! Building up to 13.1......

Some days it is easy to get my run on and some days I try and talk myself out of it. This training session and this run on March 25th is somehow easier to embrace simply because I am not running for my glory! I am not running for me! If I were I probably would still be thinking about the year gone by and how I should get moving again.....

What I do LOVE about each of these long runs I have embraced is the encouragement that comes when I need it most....

The first two long (at those times it was 4 and 5 miles....) runs was that I opened emails saying that someone had sponsored me.

The other 2 (6.2 and 6.5 miles...) was the conversation with my Maker that kept me runnin' running'....

The long run this past week needed to be 6.2 or more. I am trying to move up .5 each week in order to get to 13.1. I know the math doesn't add up....but the training that I am doing takes us to 10 miles...never 13.1 so it will be a BIG surprise to run all 13.1!!!!

I set out with the mind set that I was going to run and relax and see where my thoughts and conversation with my Maker took me....

Here is my Boooyaaaahhhhhh 6.5 adventure........

I began running....slow slow start...movin' movin'. I was off to the school to drop off lunch money. I plugged in to my phone (I have a sweet line up of music:) and got my run on! I started with the usual thoughts....HMMMM where should I go today...6.2 is a lot of ground to cover. I don't want to run in circles and I should try to check out the neighborhood next door....Wow...those gardeners are doing a great job...Hello friendly neighbor....hmmm...there are so many people out this morning....I probably look silly jogging in place at this stop light...OH well...If I stop I will never get moving....better to look silly than be stuck here! Whew the school......

Into the school....drop the goods...out of the school....tie the shoe....adjust the earphones.....turn the music up and off I go.........

I am gonna rise

I am gonna fight, keep believing

I am gonna prove that you can count on me.

I am running across this battle line and I ain't leaving

I lay down my life cause that is what you are worth to me.

I will stand by the word I gave you til you see what a promise means.

I am your 11th hour rescue!

I am the one who set you free~

Worth~Paul Brandt

It occurs to me...

I am not only running for the Parul so she can live in FREEDOM...... FREEDOM from people who will hold her captive. People who will fill her with the idea that she is WORTH nothing. People that will rob her from knowing and experiencing what she was created to be.

I am running for me!

My story of captivity and FREEDOM.

"Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can't remember who we are or why we're here."

~August Boatwright in The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

I am running for Brooklyn, MacKenzie, Ella, Lily, Eden, Olivia, Ava, Lucy, Ella, Erin......

I am running for Erica, Elia, Sydney.....IVY!

I am running for Sarah, Sam, Skylar, Jenna, Kara, Meagan, Trish, Patricia.......

I am running for girls and women in the private places of my heart that I know are in captivity and feel worthless and long for FREEDOM....

My thoughts take me to a special little friend!

I delight in my most recent snail mail from her!

I knew this mail was coming!

A sweet and precious voice called me one day and said, "Hi Michelle!"

I replied....."BROOKLYN! How are you lovey?"

"Good...Michelle guess what. I drew you some pictures and I am sending them in the mail to you!"

"OH Brooklyn, thank you that will make my heart happy."

and the conversation went on a bit about other things......

When my snail mail arrived and I opened it up. It brought me to a place of pure joy and revealing in what Brooklyn meant to me and how we came to a place in our relationship in which I was the receiver of her beautiful art work. A place where I was chosen as the recipient of her creativity and expression.

A place where I would receive her LOVE!

This relationship blossomed as I stood from afar and admired who this beautiful 2 year old was. She was strong. She was quiet. She was creative. She was beautiful and she was a girl.

I have generational family messiness surrounding girls so they are unfamiliar to me and often my own messiness scares me when it comes to what to do with girls! I also was blessed with boys and live in a home full of testosterone:)

I had the honor of watching Brooklyn grow.

I also had the wonderful privilege of watching her momma raise her.

It would be through this that I would learn.

Learn how to truly LOVE the unfamiliar that was messy for me.

Through Brooklyn and her momma I learned how to Be Your Own Beautiful (BYOB).

B's mom would cringe when people would say "Oh Brooklyn you look so beautiful in that dress" "Brooklyn your hair looks so beautiful". You see Brooklyn's momma wanted Brooklyn to know that it was not what you wear or what your hair looks like that makes you beautiful or determines your worth. She wanted Brooklyn to know and live out the TRUTH that it is your heart that makes you beautiful.

As my journey continued with Brooklyn, I watched her momma celebrate everything about Brooklyn. Even the strong willed character that would drive her momma to the brink of not smiling her lovely momma smile!

You see she was teaching Brooklyn that despite what other people feel about Brooklyn's antics and behavior she is a beautiful person. Her momma wanted her to know the ARROWS of peoples thoughts of Brooklyn is not what defined her or determined her worth.

I also watched her momma carefully do the dance of self image. Through her own eating and healthy habits teaching Brooklyn how to live a healthy life rather than worry about being skinny or worrying about what the media was saying about cute little girls. When people would comment about Brooklyn's stature her momma was sure to LOVE her regardless of the ARROWS the outside was shooting.

Brooklyn is celebrated for who she is. Fearfully and wonderfully made. More precious than rubies. Chosen for a purpose. Encouraged and edified by her momma!

When the mail came and I had pages and pages of beautiful art work I knew that I learned sooooo much from Brooklyn and her momma and all of the other little girls and momma's that were placed in my world during that time.

I learned how to truly LOVE them.

I basked in their beautiful gifts and celebrated them.

They are worth it!

~When Lily would look at her momma from the highest point in the hockey rink letting us know she was jumping. I smiled and basked in her strength, celebrating it (while her momma had a heart attack).

~When MacKenzie sat and experienced frustration because she could not get her clothing design right for her drawing I smiled and celebrated her perseverance as she worked through her frustration.

~When Ava and Lucy and Ella waited while their momma shared herself with me I celebrated their ability to practice patience and learn what it meant to give of your time.

~When Eden embraces me with a big hug after our special time together I celebrate her ability to share affection.

I know that I truly LOVE Brooklyn and she truly LOVES me.

Even though it was hard for me to understand girls and I was scared and afraid because of my own story I know that in my heart I believe in girls.

I believe in living in FREEDOM!

I believe that girls need to know they are WORTH it!

They are more precious than rubies NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE (media, family, friends, boys/men, strangers, music) TELLS THEM!

Thank you Brooklyn for being the light that shines for me as I journey to let girls know they are WORTH it!

Thank you for teaching me how to celebrate who girls are in their hearts!

And so I run for Parul and all of the beautiful girls that are given me to LOVE!

May I impact them in a way that loudly shouts out to them......

YOU ARE SOOOOOOO LOVED BEYOND WHAT THE WORLD THINKS!!! BE YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU WERE CHOSEN FOR A PURPOSE!

For we are his masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared long ago to be our way of life. Eph 2:10 (ISV)

WOW! What a Great DAY!!!

I was sure today was going to be a BLAH! Day. I couldn't find my MO JOOOOO!

It was my day to run my long run!

I missed it on Saturday as I was partying with Beth Moore and the Siesta's learning to take my ground back!

Then there was the Pine Wood Derby! My third born did a great job creating his car!

And then we wished our dad farewell as he set off for a very very far away place!

NO TIME FOR THE HOUR AND A WHILE RUN!

Sunday was much the same...full of adventure!

BUT TODAY!

Today was a beautiful day for a run!

SO SO SO much to do!

Clean !

Organize!

Paperwork!

DISTRACTED!

If I did not do this long run I would surely pay for it!

So I completed my morning routine and said "SELF...... you are not doing this for you! You are running for Parul.

If it were about you, you could get away with sabotaging yourself!

BUT YOU CAN NOT AND WILL NOT SABOTAGE THE FREEDOM OF ANOTHER.

So I chose to not be a stumbling block for me or for Parul.

And checked my email (just in case....in case what I do not know....)!

In the IN BOX was this.....

Congratulations! Someone has decided to sponsor you in your participation in Team Dallas :: Parul!

Donation Information

Donation Date: 1/22/2012
Donation Amount: $50.00
Donor Message:

If you have any questions or believe that there is an error with this transaction, please contact the administrator at run@asourown.org.

WOW!

COMMITTED!

There was no rethinking. There was no slacking!

My first sponsor sponsored me and this is for REAL!

This is BIG!

This is BEYOND ME!

PROVIDENCE!

I set out and ran...

Ran 6.2 miles...easy...slow and steady!

WITH OUT headphones!

GLORIOUS!

BEAUTIFUL!

As I was running I realized that this hour and a while was so peaceful and energizing!

AND to make my running day full and without void....

My As Our Own Race Shirt arrived.

As Team Bayou City Fellowship running for Team Dallas: Parul we decided to order shirts!

ALL IN!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

Hebrews 12:1

As March 25th draws near my miles will increase until I reach that wonderful number....

13.1

Slow and Steady I will run!

I will run for FREEDOM!

So Parul can have the FREEDOM I experience daily!

So that she does not have be bound by a yoke of slavery!

**If you too would like to be a part of this adventure by way of sponsorship, or just encouragement please know that I appreciate your support****

To sponsor me (which really is not me...this is not about ME!) Please visit this website!

https://iwillrun.myetap.org/fundraiser/dallas/individual.do?participationRef=977.0.238325839

My GOAL is $1000!

ALL IN!

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith,

2 Timothy 4:7

WOW!

It was a GREAT! Day!